Tag: funny

Things golfers say

Golf isn’t exactly the most boisterous sport, but there have definitely been a few colourful characters who have blessed the links with their cheeky and outrageous comments!

Read on for a rundown of the 10 most outrageous things pro golfers have said over the years.

 

  1. “If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.” ~ Lee Trevino

Here, Lee Travino famously joked about the difficulty of hitting a 1-iron. It later became ironic when Travino himself was struck by lightning in 1975!

 

  1. It looks like a one-armed man trying to wrestle a snake in a phone booth” ~ David Feherty

This was how cheeky former pro golfer David Feherty described Jim Furyk's unique swing in 2013.

 

  1. “At home, I'm definitely not watching golf. I'd rather be watching baseball, basketball, football, whatever.” ~ Brooks Koepka

This one is certainly an outrageous comment coming from the former world number one Brooks Koepka who also once described golf as “boring”.

 

  1. "They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken." ~ Raymond Floyd

This quote from retired American golfer Raymond Floyd pretty much sums up just how maddening the game can be!

 

  1. “If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they’d starve to death.” ~ Sam Snead

This humorous jab at inexperienced golfers is credited to the legendary golfer Sam Snead and criticises the poor grip that many amateurs have on their golf clubs.

 

  1. “If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don’t have to waste energy going back to pick it up.” ~ Tommy Bolt

US Open Champion of 1958, Tommy Bolt was known for his short temper and club-throwing tantrums that directly led to the PGA introducing a rule fining players for club throwing in 1957, often referred to as the ‘Tommy Bolt Rule’.

 

  1. "Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing."~ Dave Barry

Although not said by a professional golfer, we just had to include this quote poking at fun at the stereotypical golfing attire and how golf’s image has changed over time!

 

  1. “I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.” ~ Lee Trevino

This is another self-depreciating golf joke from the legendary Lee Trevino that exaggerates just how hopeless his swing has become. 

 

  1. “Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course: the space between your ears.” ~ Bobby Jones.

This quote from the Masters co-founder Bobby Jones highlights how golf is just as much a mental game as it is a physical one.

 

  1. “Golf is the cruellest of sports. Like life, it’s unfair. It’s a harlot. A trollop. It leads you on. It never lives up to its promises. It’s not a sport, it’s bondage. An obsession. A boulevard of broken dreams. It plays with men. And runs off with the butcher.” ~ Jim Murray

This darkly funny quote really captures the love-hate relationship many golfers have with the game.

 

If golf is leading you on and breaking your heart, fight back with a sense of humour and check out our selection of outrageous and rude golf ball designs today!

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Funny Secret Santa Golf Ball

Christmas is looming ever closer, and you know what that means: Secret Santa!

Whether you love it or hate it, it’s the same every year. You know you need a funny gift that will make your mates laugh, but you aren’t sure what to get. A stupid mug? More novelty socks? A candle?

Rack your feeble brain no more, because this year, we’ve done the work for you. The hilarious golf balls below are perfect for most Secret Santa budgets and are great for the mate who’s always on the golf course. Check out our funniest Secret Santa gifts for 2025:

 

Top 5 Funny Secret Santa Golf Gifts

  1. You’re the Reason Santa Drinks

We’re starting off strong with the reason for the season. Or the reason for seasonal drinking, at least. If you have the kind of mate who can take a joke without getting too offended, then give him a real giggle with these golf balls. These are just festive enough without crossing the line – the perfect funny Secret Santa gift.

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  1. Keep Your Presents – I Want Silence

This one is a stark reminder of the harsh truth of Secret Santa. You aren’t just supplying a gift – you’ll have to take someone else’s Christmas crap home with you. Subtly remind your mates that you’d rather be playing golf in peace than adding to your junk drawer with this succinct golf ball. Then smile, say thank you, and try not to be too smug about the fact that you gave the best gift this year.

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  1. Merry Christmas You Cunt!

Are you ready to get into the Christmas spirit? Is your friend a cunt? If you answered yes to both of those questions, then this is the funny Secret Santa gift for you. Show that you are fully embracing the festive season with a very merry golf ball that’s just twisted enough to get a guffaw out of the group.

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  1. All I Want for Christmas Is for You to Shut Up

This hilarious golf ball is for that one mate who has been listening to Mariah Carey since October. We all appreciate that Christmas is exciting, but it does grate on the nerves a bit when they just never shut up. This silly and ever-so-subtle reminder is just what your mate needs for Secret Santa this year.

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  1. Wanker Golf Balls

A cleverly-worded insult is fun, but no match for the classics. Sometimes you just need to say it like it is. This is one of the less-festive options on the list so that your mate can use their gift all year round (and let’s be honest, we all know someone who deserves a gift like this!).

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More Funny Secret Santa Gifts

Discover more funny Secret Santa gifts for your mates at banterballs! Our huge selection of silly and startling golf gifts is sure to put a smile on your face this festive season.

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